3 things not to do in online dating—If you like the girl.

So, this is a different type of post than I normally do, but this has been on my mind lately. I have been doing the online dating thing for two years now, and I have to admit I am getting pretty worn out. It shouldn’t be easy to find someone to spend forever with. I get that. Fellows, there are some consistent problems I’m noticing with your dating style, though. After this little PSA let’s see if we can’t solve that.

1) Stop blowing up the girl’s phone.

Gentleman. We are not new toys. When you text us constantly only to ask stupid questions like, “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” You look like a puppy that’s just learned how to play fetch. Not attractive whatsoever. Be patient and very careful about how often you text a girl in the beginning. My recommendation is before you start having texting conversations with a girl ask her if she’s ok with it. From what I’ve seen bonds start to form over texting conversations and I think you all get the wrong idea. Just because we keep texting you back does not mean we are into you. It just means we feel guilty not replying. We will let you know when we are into you.

2) Don’t get mushy.

Never text a girl things like, “I miss you!” “I’m so lucky I found you.” Especially don’t text this to her before you know her last name. You look like a damn fool!!!


Yes this is what I think of guys who text me that type of nonsense too early.

When you get mushy before you’ve even been dating a month you come off as disingenuous and overly eager. Chances are we will dump your ass because we can see right through the act. You really just want to sex us up and have no real interest in getting to know us.

3) Calm the f**** down!!!

It’s perfectly natural to have the butterflies. Don’t be so nervous that you talk about yourself constantly, though. I went on a date where the guy spent 4 hours with me, never bought me coffee or a meal, and at the end of it new nothing more about me then the mission work I had done in Haiti. Here’s a tip. Particularly with in the first 5 dates, more than 15 minutes is probably too long to spend on one topic. Be ready to change it up, or hell, do what we do, excuse yourself to the bathroom for a few minutes so both of you have time to catch your breath. And most of all guys please remember we are human too, not treasure found in the cave of wonders. I think remembering that might help you to be less nervous.

About ashleyeastside

I had a great run in LA, but it's now time to head back to the Nation's Capital to pursue the artistic life I endeavored on after graduation. The fun is definitely not over yet, however. Stay tuned, because just as I brought you LA's best kept secrets, I am now out to bring you DC's best kept secrets.

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